Gah, ages has gone by without a blog post again! I always want to update but never get around to it unless I have a pent-up rant that needs to be expressed, and it is that time again ;-)
Today's rant is about the new year period. I'm not having a go at anyone, it's just my opinion on the weakness of human nature that I will be talking about (including my own. I am not immune to the character flaws to which I am referring!).
So, basically, my opinion on the new year and general hype which surrounds it is this:
If you have something to change and it's worth doing you will change it now and not wait for a convenient set of numbers to give you the incentive to do it, because what reason is that? Also, I've never really seen the point of celebrating new year as it's just a number change, it's not automatically going to magically change your life and I just kind of get frustrated at the same naivety every year of celebrating a new year and a "new you" and setting new years resolutions... I bet you had new years resolutions last year and didn't stick to them and now you're going to do the same again where you promise to become a better person, yet slip back into the same old habits because really, your attitude hasn't changed, just the bloody calendar.
Like if you want to learn new things and have general aims for the year ahead then that's fine and wonderful. I just get sick of people making resolutions they never stick to and doing the same thing every single year. It's just so pointless and futile. I do understand that the new numbers/ dawn of a new year can make it easier to feel like you're starting something and organise yourself, I do get that. It's just the whole thing of waiting for something to change by itself without actually being assertive and acting on it, and acting on it for the right reasons! It's when people assume they should have a resolution for the sake of it as well, grrrr! I always have things I want to improve about myself and I might find it easier to imagine a start date for it to give myself perspective but it's not like as soon as the 1st of January comes I'm going to make a concerted effort to do something new or "stick to something".
I think change motivated by the realisation of the need to change is always more powerful, effective and long-lasting than changes applied at a new year for the sake of it.
I think self-awareness, development, having goals, aspirations and motivations are essential in life and I completely advocate having them; but I think the point is that these things should be constant - we should always be aiming to learn, discover, grow and evolve. It shouldn't a process that just starts because it's a new year.
It just seems to follow the same pattern every year with a lot of people - new year, diet, an aim for life to be organised and better... and yet they gradually fail at every single one of the points they had aimed for, then adopt an attitude of "fuck it, I've ruined my resolutions now, no point even trying any more", fall into the same habits that they had resolved to change at the start of the year, and live in the same way as before and wait til the year changes again to bother to try and re-implement the change.
I am always thinking of things I want to try and do or change about myself, but I see it as a constant process - we are always changing and growing by our nature and I think that is the most healthy way to be. I'm not saying my life is lived in an ideal way, far from it - but I do think that more people should try and continually renew and refresh their goals for themselves rather than wait for a new year or new set of numbers and for that to be the only real catalyst for change.
If change is worth it then it's worth it straight away, or as soon as is feasibly possible.
As an example of an "as soon as is feasibly possible" situation, I need to lose weight. I had some medication changed about 6 or 7 months ago and it caused me to pile on about a stone of wobble and podge. I feel disgusting and my clothes don't fit me comfortably any more. I want to get back down to the weight I was before I had my medication changed. However, since that original medication change I've had *another* one and one of the effects of the new stuff is increased appetite and I'm CONSTANTLY hungry. I've also had a hormone injection which probably adds to the hungry-all-the-time thing, and that doesn't wear off 'til March. Part of me thinks "well, what's the point in doing anything before then?" - but equally I HATE waiting for things to change by themselves - if you want something (within reason!) then I think it's important to be pro-active. And that's what I intend to do. I'm having to wait to be able to implement my new eating plan - this is because I'm currently staying with my parents for the Christmas holidays and I'm not really in control of what food is in the house or what I eat. It's also just been Christmas, and the house is full of food which is hard to resist when you're constantly starving! So I'm having to wait 'til I get back to my own home in Bristol to start eating the way I want to to lose weight. I'm not waiting just for a new year and new set of numbers because honestly what is the point? I should also point out I'm not resigning myself to my fate as a lard-ass until I get back to my own flat. I am still trying to make immediate changes to my diet within the limits of what is possible when living with my parents, I'm not just stuffing my face with the excuse that I can't start my diet properly until I get back home. So my point here being, although I can't make the changes I want to make comprehensively just yet, I am trying to do everything I can (relative to the situation I'm in) to change NOW as opposed to just putting it off.
Anyway, just wanted to clear that up in case there was the possibility of that being misconstrued as hypocrisy regarding waiting to change something!
But yes, to summarise my general point - if something is worth changing, do it now. I've never seen the point in new year's resolutions. They're futile and empty and often token-gestures. I hate the adverts that come on around new year talking about a "new you" and all the rest of it. The same adverts with the same sentiments come out every year - why? Because it's the same people stuck in the cycle of setting resolutions, failing at them, falling back into their own habits and then waiting for the next new year to set resolutions again, and so the cycle continues.
Maybe I'm just cynical and it's part of my grumpy-old-woman syndrome. But this whole new year bullshit really gets to me year after year!
I'm interested in other people's opinions on this actually (as I am with everything) so if you feel the same or different or whatever, do feel free to comment! :)
OH OH I should also point out, in a general update sense, I GOT A KINDLE with my Christmas money and I'm in love with it! I got it mainly for the convenience of being able to store loads of books all in one place, because I have a tiny flat and no space for lots of real books so this is the perfect solution. I bought the complete works of Charles Dickens yesterday and have read 11 chapters of David Copperfield so far which is record speed-reading for me! I find the Kindle so much easier to read from than actual books. That said, I will always love *actual* books for the physicality, the smell, the feel, the sense of turning pages... but yes, for now, my Kindle is the ultimate convnience and is more M.E.-friendly than actual books.
Just as another quick note, I'm well aware this post is written in Yoda speak. For some reason I can't express myself in a straight-forward way at the moment, I seem to be going the long way round to make my points :P I think it's just the regular thing of my brain not working properly; perhaps also due to my reading Charles Dickens and adopting the way he writes; and also I think the Mirtazapine (which I started about a month ago - ish) has changed the way I express myself a little bit too. I hate having concepts in my head and not being able to express them in the right way and not being able to do them justice.
Anyway, I really am finished now ;) hope everyone is well. x