Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Various things

1)I didn't sleep at all last night and this morning my jaw is aching really badly to chew. I don't think that's a very good thing :\

2) Yesterday me and the boyfriend were supposed to go for a picnic but when we got to Sainsbury's to get the food etc for it I realised I really wasn't feeling well and was exhausted/ not up to walking the length we had to. I was way too hot anyway (I'm really, really pale and I think my complexion was designed for a Scandinavian climate, not the hot summers we occasionally get in England!), and on top of that I felt sick, really weak, shaky, achey and just all round rotten. I felt really guilty to tell him I didn't feel good but he was fine about it and we went home so I could go back to bed.

3) The other day I felt really low after something triggered me to think about what other people might think of me etc. I won't go into it but I posted it on AYME, not really expecting any support or anything, I just wanted to express how I felt somewhere. But I got THE nicest replies imaginable, I was so touched by the amount of people that replied and the lovely things they said, it really did make me feel so so much better. I keep going on about how grateful I am on AYME and people are probably getting annoyed by it now haha! But I really am, so much, I can't even express it. It feels so good when so many people are unexpectedly there for you when you're feeling as though it should be the exact opposite. It really does mean the world. Whoever reads this post, if anyone does, whether you're from AYME, know me from elsewhere or even if you're a stranger and don't know me at all, I want you to know that I'm always here for you and you're always welcome to send me a message to talk about whatever you like. I like being there for people and I only hope I can help in some way or another. Everyone needs a friend and it breaks my heart to think that there are people out there with no one and what's more they are probably nice people but in an unfortunate situation. If I knew them I would want to be their friend :) that sounds a bit 'primary school'ish but it's meant in the most normal possible way! ;)

4) I'm nervous about moving out of the student house I'm living in at the moment. It means I never have to see the person that's picking on me again (WOOHOO! :D) - BUT, moving my stuff into storage and then a couple of days later in to the new house is going to be physically exhausting. I'm dreading it. My current bedroom is up 4 flights of stairs and my new one is up 3! Not ideal for an ME sufferer haha! I'm genuinely scared because last year my mum had absolutely no sympathy - I know it's my stuff but most parents would sort of make an effort to help their kid a bit more in the knowledge that they physically struggle with exertion. But oh no. My mum just made me carry my stuff (including the heaviest stuff) up the stairs even though I was complaining how much it hurt/ how tired I was and was in tears. When it was finally finished I was in bed for the rest of the day and suffered for days afterwards. I'm really hoping it's not like that again this year :(
On top of all that moving stuff, I'm generally quite busy at the moment with a 5000 word research project to do (overdue from the academic year), my dad is coming down this weekend to visit (meh) and I'm really hoping to go to an AYME barbecue on Monday 28th. Worried that I'll be too exhausted from everything, but I'm determined to make it, there are a lot of people I want to meet.

Anyway, I'm really tired and after no sleep I'm going to attempt to go back to bed and sleep now.

If anyone does read this, whoever you are, I hope you're okay. :)


Colette said...

I've read this!

AYME really is lovely, glad your finding support there.

chemilyx said...

Awww thank you very much! I am trying to get round to reading the blogs of the people I'm following (inc. you) but it's taking a lot longer than expected haha ;) I may have a nosey at your page soon :D x